It is fair to say that the majority of women that I work with are mums, but there are a significant and growing group who are not. Kat is one of those women who has recently worked with me because she suffers with vaginismus, a condition where your vagina automatically contracts whenever penetration is attempted. This makes sex and tampon wearing unbearable.
She has been suffering with it for 8 years and two years ago decided enough was enough. Taking action was scary and liberating for Kat in equal measure. She started off with Psychosexual counselling which worked up to a point, but only so far. At this point Kat began work with the fabulous White Hart Clinic and then me. I was brought on board to help Kat stay on track and keep doing the work.
“The two could not have been a better fit to figure out what was going on with my pelvic floor and if I could do anything different it would be to start these two sooner.”
She boldly went for the group option and became part of the Holistic Core Restore® Every Woman course, designed to help women improve their pelvic floor function. Whenever you get a group of women in a small space there is always plenty of chat and this group was no exception. Kat dived straight in on week one and shared her story.
For a woman to be brave enough to come into a group setting knowing nobody and then share their story is huge. Some find it easier than others and by Kat exposing her story in that first week really helped to create a close bond and supportive group dynamic.
“Being embraced my Baz and her kind demeanour made me feel safe to share my story and to start putting in the work to actually see some change.”
One thing that I was really keen to do with Kat was to change her habits around going to the loo, a key part of pelvic floor work. She runs a shop and had to shut it to go to the loo and so had got into the habit of just not going. I challenged her to go twice at work – which she accepted. She pledged to the group that she was game on, set some reminders on her phone (which she shared with us all) and then followed the plan. We were all so delighted when we got her updates – this not only helped to reinforce the change for Kat but gave everyone else in the group the confidence that change is possible.
This was a very small part of the physical puzzle but a huge part of the mental one. Changing behaviour is flipping hard work which is why accountability (to someone you’re a little bit scared of!) and group support really does help.
“Needless to say, it was hard, but a good kind of hard. She makes you change up your routine to make time for yourself and because of this, I started to see small changes in my PF within the 6 weeks I spent with her. Investing in something as crucial as your PF should be a no-brainer, and if it’s not yet, then hopefully my journey can inspire you to take the next step.”
Working with Kat reinforced to me the significant life changing impact this work can have. A young, sassy and capable woman has owned this issue, created her dream team and done the work. It wasn’t easy by any stretch but absolutely nothing that is worth it ever is.
Baz’s approach is nothing shy of a wake-up call to not only the pelvic floor function you deserve but also to the way society pushes women to accept a weak PF and the symptoms of that.
Thank you Kat for sharing your story and good luck with the rest of your journey. x